Funny Calvin

So Thursday evening we were watching "Police Women of Maricopa County" on TV and Calvin kept asking us questions about being a police officer like:

1. Do police officers make a lot of money?

2. Do police officers get to make all of the rules?

3. The police officers are always the good guys right?

etc. So we asked him if he wanted to be one and he said well I would want to make more money than they do but I would really like to take bad guys off of the streets of Maricopa and Maricopa County. So I explained that some police officers get paid pretty well it depends on your college degrees and how many years in service etc. So then he says....well I would die for my country and being a police officer is pretty much the same thing as the military because it is for the county which is kind of like the country. He was so serious too. We were trying not to laugh and told him he would be a great police officer and that Dad (Will) wanted to be a police officer also but with diabetes made it difficult for him to get hired. We mentioned that Uncle Toma was a cop and that cousin Shaffen is a cop. So we continue watching the show and one of the lady cops was ticked off when people wouldn't get out of her way with her lights and sirens on and Calvin pipes up again and says man...if I were her I would pull over all of those cars and give them a ticket for not getting out of my way! They are supposed to move immediately even I know that and I'm just a 7 year old well almost 8 year old boy! DUH people!

As the show was nearing the end they busted this deadbeat Dad who wasn't paying his child support but not without him hiding and them having to draw their weapons and scream etc. Calvin said why are they calling him a deadbeat Dad...so Will explains that he has kids and didn't pay his child support and that is a crime. Calvin says well that serves him right then he should go to jail if he doesn't even love his kids to see them or to buy them food and clothes. So when they finally got him we were all a little excited and I Yeah they got em and then excitedly I asked Calvin if he thought I should be a cop because it would be fun and I like to punch it and drive fast? He said yeah Mom that would be so cool if we were both cops fighting crime together! Will then pipes in and says yeah that's real funny your Mom wouldn't be a good cop she would fall for every sob story told to her and be like oh you were stealing food because you are broke well here's $5 no take $10 and I'll take you to dinner. All the while laughing at the idea that I could be a cop and how I would get my butt kicked forget to turn on the lights or forget my gun. I say well I could talk the talk and walk the walk I think I could be tough or I would just call for back up or just tazzer everyone. Will continues to laugh at me and so is Calvin. I keep explaining that I could be a cop it's not unreasonable I can drive fast and can run fast for short distances etc. After a few minutes I say well you're right I probably wouldn't be a very good cop because I'm a sucker and a wimp. I would feel sorry for too many people and let them go and I'd probably get beat up my first day. Will says yeah and you are way too personal they would say I was speeding because I needed to go to the bathroom and then you said oh yes I totally understand and give them your medical history and then offer to escort them home. Calvin then says yeah Mom you are a talking machine and you would probably be talking to the guy and he'd be like LADY could you just take me to jail already and stop talking because I rather be in jail then listen to you talk all day! Of course we crack up....but I say Gosh Calvin! He's laughing and says it's true Mom you are a talking machine and starts to tell us a story about how I talked to Robyn once for more than 30 minutes when I said we were leaving. Little trader selling me out like that! ha ha

Funny kiddo!

More to the story...

so today Saturday my cousin Misty and her husband Shaffen come over from Thatcher/Safford where she's a nurse and he's a cop so I'm telling them the story. Calvin comes in and Misty says so Calvin you want to be a cop huh? He says no and looks at me like Mom! So she asks him again and he says well I don't know I still want to make more money because I don't want to be poor. I tell him remember Shaffen is a cop and he says yeah. Shaffen tells him you can still be a cop and then just marry a rich sugar Mama then you get to have all of the fun and still have lots of money, she can buy you quads, motorcycles, boats and hunting gear. Calvin says OK where do I find a rich sugar Mama but she has to be pretty like Maritza (his little Spanish senorita friend at school that he has loved for 2 years now) and I have to get married in the temple.